Dana Blankenhorn

Solving College Football

My old alma mater, Rice University, is playing for a conference title today, at home, against the Thundering Herd of (We Are) Marshall, as seen on a movie channel near you.

Didn't know? No one else does, either.

That's because Conference USA, where the Owls play these days, isn't considered a “major” conference. It's a “mid-major” conference, thus beneath contempt.

For the last several years, a host of schools have been moving between conferences, and among conferences, based on the size of their alumni, the power of their football teams, and the school's willingness to spend money in order to find a “better” home.

The system enriches only football coaches, and ex-football coaches. It's one of the biggest scams going. The players often get nothing (some get a decent education, if they apply themselves and the coach doesn't fire them for poor play), and the schools are also left destitute. Only a few dozen schools actually profit from football, and they plow the money into athletic facilities, enriching coaches in minor sports.

The system is broken. Time to fix it.

Football

The NCAA was created in 1906 because football was killing people. It was organized under the aegis of President Theodore Roosevelt because “plays” like the “flying wedge” were routinely resulting in the death of college students. He didn't want the game to become more important than human life.

The penalties imposed today on Penn State are in keeping with that mission, and while Pennsylvania is a northern state they will resonate most in the south. The last decade has seen an incredible football money chase, accelerating every year, and to say that any football program in the Southeastern Conference is subservient to its academic masters is a gross lie.

I hear it on sports talk stations all the time. What does President (Insert Name Here) know? How dare he criticize Coach (thus and so). Or when an honest coach with a losing record is fired, what's the message there? Just win, baby. And the boosters nod in sympathy.

Even in the wake of this press conference, ESPN “College Gamday” analyst Chris Fowler insisted that college athletics isn't “going backward,” that the money put into it will only go up. “It's going to be an uphill fight,” he added, but he seemed skeptical the fight will really be made. 

Coach Lou Holtz, by contrast, had it right. “College football is way too big. Coach's salaries are out of line.” But Holtz was never “just” a football coach. (Of course we thought that was true of Paterno.)

The people who wrap their lives around college football, who pore over lists of recruits like Kremlinologists, and who throw their hard-earned dollars into “seat licenses” and other gimmicks for ever-larger football palaces, they're the real enablers here. We created Joe Paterno. He never went into football expecting, or wanting to be, that guy. That he was seduced into becoming that guy tells you everything you need to know about the level of corruption, and temptation, in the sport.

It can get to anyone.

US Soccer Evolves

Last night I saw the most amazing thing, although what was most amazing was how unremarked upon it was.

A record crowd filled the old Skydome in Toronto for a soccer game in March between two MLS teams, Toronto and the LA Galaxy. It wasn't even a league match, although it wasn't a friendly, either. Instead, it was a quarter-final in something called the CONCACAF Champions League, a regional competition designed to replicate what the UEFA Champions League has in Europe.

This competition has been going on for several years but Americans haven't really cared about it. Teams have almost deliberately fallen-down after being chosen, including the Galaxy, whom I once saw lose a two-legged tie to Puerto Rico's A-League outfit in front of maybe 2,000 people. 

TCU

Almost 20 years ago Texas Christian University (TCU) faced a choice.

It was losing the cash cow of the Southwest Conference. It could accept that or double-down on athletics.

It chose to double-down. The school now has state-of-the-art facilities, a football coach making millions a year, and additions to its football stadium estimated to cost $100 million.

In doing this TCU tied its reputation to the behavior of 20 year old kids. So when some of those kids turn out to be using drugs common to 20-year olds, TCU is as shocked as Captain Renault.

TCU could have put its money into academics. It could have gone after some Pulitzer Prize winners, some Nobel Prize winners. It could have built great laboratories with the money it poured into athletics. It could have hired some real stars, the kind who draw great students, the kind who raise a school's academic standing.

TCU chose to put its reputation in the hands of 20 year old athletes instead. You reap what you sew.

The scandal here isn't just what the kids did. They will pay for it for the rest of their lives. The real scandal is the choice the TCU Administration made, one they continue to make, one far too many colleges and universities that could be great make every day.

There's your scandal. And throwing those kids under the bus won't wipe the stain from your hands, guys.

Braves' Error

My hometown baseball team, the Atlanta Braves, angered a lot of their fans yesterday by booting an easy grounder, dropping Indian images from their team uniform.

"Enough with the politically correct B.S.," wrote one commenter. "PC is BS," wrote another. "Way to cave by all means give in to political correctness even when its not correct to start with," wrote a third.

In fact there was never any need to back up the wahmbulance. All that was required was some imagination.

You know that tomahawk that was on the front of all the uniforms for years, and that got turned into a potent rally point after the team "stole" the Florida State University "arm chop" cheer? (They later sold foam tomahawks with which to do the cheer.)

You know what that tomahawk looked a lot like?

A fire axe.

You know who's really brave, for reals? Firemen. Police, too. All first responders. And you know what they call the heads of their departments? Chief.

So just announce you're going to drop the "s." The Atlanta Brave. The home of the Brave, the last line of the "Star Spangled Banner." The tomahawk on the uniform becomes a fire axe. The Indian joins the Village People and gets a cop hat. He can have the same crazed look -- just pretend he's going after an Occupy demonstration. (I kid.)

And when you make the announcement, you do it with a native American who has also been a fire chief, or a police chief. Find someone of native American ancestry who served on 9-11. Or the fire chief up at the Cherokee reservation in North Carolina. You trot him out, in uniform, you put a hat on him and voila -- Chief Nokahoma! You replace the old teepee from the 70s with a fire station set-up, and when we hit one out the "chief" (or his successor) comes down the pole and rings the fire alarm, cheering.

Problem solved. Don't pay me, guys. Just win, baby. (And Jason, get back to hitting .300 soon.)

 

Clint Re-Elects the President

I'm old enough to remember when the Ronald Reagan campaign lifted Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" to sell the Gipper.

Springsteen was, and is, a Democrat. He didn't like being done that way. He complained, and ever since then musicians have been complaining when politicians have used their stuff without their direct political consent. (Not that it's stopped the politicians.)

Something similar happened during last night's Super Bowl.

Clint Eastwood re-elected President Obama.

I know he didn't mean to. Clint is a lifelong Republican, a former mayor of Carmel, California, quite outspoken in his beliefs, most of which I disagree with. But, like Springsteen, he's a brand. He represents America, and when he speaks we listen.

Yesterday he spoke for Detroit. He never mentioned the brand, Chrysler, whose message he was narrating. He didn't mention that Chrysler is, at present, a joint-venture between the UAW's health plan and the Italian auto maker Fiat, one Fiat is due to own all of in 2015.

Instead he gave a "half-time pep talk" to the country, noting that Detroit was back, that America was back, and the world better watch out for us in the second half.

It was inspiring. It was non-political. But it was political as hell.

Solving the NBA Lock Out

The problem with the NBA isn't 47% or 53%. It's not the mid-cap exception. It's not the distrust of owners like Michael Jordan and players like Derek Fisher.

The problem is that revenues aren't growing. The problem is a lot of clubs aren't making a profit.

So here's a modest proposal.

Expansion. To the Far East.

Right now there are 30 teams. Add two. Sell them, maybe to Shanghai and Beijing. Now you sell six existing clubs to entrepreneurs in Singapore, Melbourne, Sydney, Tokyo, Seoul and Osaka.

See, Michael Jordan gets out of Charlotte. The Sacramento Kings are no longer your problem. The Milwaukee Bucks become the Yuan. Every other small market team is shivering wondering if they'll be next, and three will be.

The Secret of Juergen Klinsmann's Smile

There is a mystery afoot in US Soccer.

One I've solved.

After winning a scrappy game against Honduras last night, 1-0, announcers seemed almost disappointed, anxious to get back to their “fire Klinsy” chant should he fail to “get a result” against Ecuador.

What Eric Wynalda, Alexi Lalas, Jimmy Conrad and others had to say mystified me, until I remembered where and how they had played their international soccer.

They were all part of the team built by Bruce Arena, a fine coach, a good man, America's best in many ways. And they feel threatened by what Juergen Klinsmann is trying to do.

Leave Klinsy Al-o-o-o-o-ne!

Like other American footy fans I was very disappointed in the national team's losses to Costa Rica and Belgium over the international break.

The youngsters came out flying at the start of the first game and faded. The oldsters did the best they could but made one mistake and paid for it.

The announcers were all upset with the coach. In a way that's good. It shows we care. But in this case it's unfair.

The reason lay in Klinsmann's smile, which almost never left his face throughout the two matches.

The Core of Corruption in “College” Football

Everyone knows college football is corrupt. It always has been.

But as another season kicks off, with more poor kids getting their knees, backs and heads stoved-in for the entertainment of rich alumni, it's a good time to note the source of that corruption.

The NFL.

Football is the only collegiate sport that serves as the sole minor league for its professional game. Yes, there are NBA basketball players on some campuses, but most are just passing through for a year. Seniors are usually second-rounders. Some baseball players go pro, but you can choose to sign right out of high school, and most clubs prefer that you do. Future pros are scattered among the other sports, although you know what they call collegiate womens' gymnastics don't you – the senior tour.

Only in football (American football you dork, not soccer) does the pro sport depend on the college sport to train its employees. A few kids have gone early, but most turn into negative examples. No, the techniques, the training, the coaching, the schemes – the pro game is college dependent. (Thus the league imposed an NCAA penalty on Terrelle Pryor when he left Ohio State, suspending him for five pro games. In poker that is called a tell.)