About myself. About my strengths, and frailties. About my family, about love. About my wife, whom I love more than ever. About my son, whom I admire now, not just as a father, but as a man whose maturity is hard-won, one with his own stories to tell.
About community, about belonging. About blogging. About you.
Mainly it's taught me about what works. What works for me. What eases pain, what calms my nerves, what helps me keep panic at bay.
What works for me, when I get nervous, are talking, writing and walking. Talking about my problems relieves my pain. Writing about them helps put them in perspective. (Coca-Cola, when I'm real nervous and can't eat, can be a blessing. Music, fitting my mood, playing in the background.)
Walking, which is the exercise my father favored before I knew him, the exercise my son favors now, may work best of all.
Once this is over I have made some vows. I will get help for my own condition, help I have put off by hiding from the world behind a typewriter. I will become more involved in the community, with neighborhood groups, perhaps with my son's church. I will become an advocate, hoping to give others some benefit from lessons hard-won.
But first, let's take a walk.